New Year In Eternity

By the time I finish this article, I will be 17. It is my ritual to sit and think on the night of my birthday, and here I am today. Still in the same room, in front of the same monitor, but drastically different. My 16-year-old self has been the absolute best version of Saba, and I'm blessed to be capable enough to appreciate the progress I made at 16. The paragraphs you are about to read will be the most incoherent ones, but I want to express everything I learned or accomplished at 16. Let's reason, motherfuckers.

I'm not super public about my philosophical views, since I strongly dislike the fact of me changing fundamental priorities. But this year has been the most productive, as I have committed all my beliefs to a course that will remain unchanged for the rest of my life (unless I suffer some cognitive damage or hormonal transfiguration).

Starting with my favorite: morals. From a very young age, I couldn't criticize someone on the basis of morality, saying that their behavior was unjustified because some morality says so (in my case, the Christian moral). I always had an inner feeling that if you had the balls to do something, you would do it, and justified or unjustified, you were true (to yourself, most importantly). Time passed, and not only I still hold this moral view, but it has become even more imbued in me than anything else. To articulate my moral "theory," I believe that no moral is justified, no moral is objectively true, but the one you possess, your gut tells, and your power grants. To be succinct, do I have a moral theory? No, but the most suitable one for me is Moral Error Theory + Nietzschean moral.

Moving on to the most boring one: epistemology. I have similar views here as well. I DO NOT believe in objective truth; I think that the world is solely a place of interpretations, and your interpretation is the only true matter. To expand on this framework, if there is no objective moral anchor out there in the void, it is because there is no objective conceptual anchor either. The universe doesn't come pre-labeled. It doesn't care about our neat little categories of "fact" versus "fiction." What we call "truth" is nothing more than a highly glorified, collective illusion, a set of convenient definitions that a majority of people agreed upon because they lacked the courage to face a world without guarantees. I refuse to buy into that collective coping mechanism.

If you strip away the comforting myth of a singular reality, what are you left with? Perspective. Power. The sheer audacity to look at the chaos around you and impose your own order onto it. My epistemology is inherently bound to my stance on morality: truth isn't something you passively discover or humbly submit to, but rather something you actively forge. It belongs entirely to the person who has the cognitive fortitude to declare, "This is how I see it, and because I have the strength to act on this view, this is what is real." To formalize this without losing its edge, the most fitting academic label for my epistemological stance is a lethal combination of Nietzschean Perspectivism and radical Epistemological Subjectivism.

As you have noticed, I constantly talk about power and Nietzsche. I first read Nietzsche at 14, 15, but 16 was the age when I truly, practically felt him. I'm not influenced by him but "attracted" by him, since he was the person who articulated what I was feeling.

Now about my religions. This will be the revelation part, haha.

I'm not a Christian, and that's for sure. Currently, I do not accept not only Jesus being a god but also the existence of any gods at all. I do not believe in the "supernatural" or "logos" or an "ultimate universal being." So technically I'm an atheist, right? Well, by definition, yes, but I'm a religious person. By "religious," I mean the fact of me believing in certain rituals (but not the supernatural); I have strong faith in some things, etc. For me, writing this article is a type of ritual; listening to classical music, feeling it to the deepest level of my "soul," and thinking about life is a ritual; being in nature and appreciating it is a ritual. So, not in a schizophrenic way, I'm a religious person.

Also, I think that religion is derived from genetics. For example, Mtiuls are pagans because of their diversity of landscapes, stiff climate, and impassable places. That's why they weren't possessed by the weak morals, weak views, and overall weakness Christianity provides. And yes, Christianity is a religion for the weak. Just look at the course of history: where it blossomed (under the control of Rome in Jerusalem, where Jews were hardcore fucked by Romans), who took it (whores, the poor, and those who were getting fucked), and what it preaches (be humble, live in regret, love the weak), and so much more. I do not condemn Christianity; I have many precious Christian people by my side that I love the most (including my family members), but yeah, it's not for me (not yet though, I might change my mind in a couple of years if I get weakened :D).

And also, I do not believe in an afterlife, souls, and "heaven and hell." From my perspective, you die and decay. As simple as that.

Now, let's talk about money.

At the age of 16, I made the most money I've ever made in my entire life combined. I tried three different business models and was profitable in all three. Throughout this journey, I found out that startups are the most suitable model for me. I built six products and made money with only one, but it was worth it.

The startup that succeeded is Tergi, my first kid, my baby who was born dead and then revived. It is crazy to see where I have come with Tergi, and even crazier that I have a meeting today with a potential buyer. Life is fucking crazy, especially when you have a business. It is completely unpredictable, packed with raw adrenaline, massive wins, and crushing losses. Man, I love it.

Did I get financially literate? I wouldn't say so, because the money I made isn't that crazy, maybe 10K in 6 months, so technically I was cool with it, but the real wealth wasn't the cash. It was the brutal, unvarnished education.

Building six products just to have five of them faceplant into absolute zero teaches you something textbooks never will: volume precedes luck, and execution kills ideas. You learn to stop romanticizing your thoughts. In the startup world, nobody gives a shit about your potential or your beautiful code; they care about whether you solve a bleeding problem. When Tergi was bleeding out early on, I had to stop acting like a passive observer and start acting like a technician with a wrench. Reviving a dead product takes a specific kind of mental resilience, you have to look at zero users, zero revenue, and still have the audacity to tweak the engine until it roars.

This one year proved that my interpretation of value could be converted into hard currency. For anyone looking at the game from the outside: stop waiting for the perfect blueprint. Run experiments, build fast, fail without crying about it, and remember that you only need to be right once for the whole ride to be worth it. Fuck yeah, I'm having goosebumps :DD

Also, there is a tendency that you spend the most money in spring. I will only say this for now, but it has to be a pattern.

Mentioning patterns, this year I met Gurami Mamukelashvili, my mentally retarded math teacher who told me on the first lesson to "search for patterns everywhere." I'm telling you, those 4 words altered my mind and how I think. The most valuable thing I learned and implemented in practice is searching for patterns.

We are getting to an end.

The last thing I want to talk about is life.

I truly love life and enjoy every single moment of it. I love chaos and stress. I love that every day is a war and you have to be sharpened to win at it. I love late nights, I love challenges, and I love problems that shatter your soul. I might be super anxious during those situations, but the afterward is crazy.

I learned that optimizing for memories, therefore taking risks literally everywhere, is the most unthoughtfully thoughtful decision you can make.

As predicted, I'm 17. Thanks to 16-year-old Saba.

One thing that everyone should remember about me is that my balls grow with my age.